Until you sit down and assess everything you are facing you never really understand how strong you are. You can have a 5 year plan with annotations and pictures but nothing ever really goes that way. There are blips and hurdles and there will always be things that will prevent you from reaching your goals but never let this deter you. Challenges are there to be faced and battles are there to be won, just never let your emotions get the better of you.
You feel like surrounding yourself with positivity is the best thing you can do and to a certain extent it’s true. Your mood changes, you become happier and everything gradually gets better but in that one moment, when you’re sitting alone thinking about everything going on and wondering when will you get your shit together? I promise that daunting feeling won’t last long. And I promise it’s going to be okay.
You may feel like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders, like you’re trying to do everything in your power to make things work, you tolerate people’s actions because you know what it feels like to be treated that way and you would never for a minute want them to feel the same and you shrug things off because you see the bigger picture and that’s more important than irrelevant little things. But when it comes down to it and you’re lying in bed, those little thoughts at the back of your head seem to somehow creep out and decide they want to pin down your emotions and let them take over your mind. Never let them.
I’m not saying don’t be open about your feelings and put up a wall, I’m saying that it’s okay to have a moment to yourself, it’s okay not to be perfect. It’s okay to not have it together every single minute of every single day and really it is okay to be emotional and watch Bridget Jones whilst singing “All By Myself” (not cool). But the worst thing to do? Is never talk about it. It’s okay that there are days when you want to chill on your own and not talk to the world but never let those days build up.
Talk to people about your feelings, if you need to say something? Say it! Make it work with each other, tell each other how you feel, you should never have to hide that! Be honest and be comfortable! There are people out there who care so much for you and no doubt about it there are always going to be people you’ll care for too. Everyone faces obstacles but when you tackle them together it only makes you stronger! Treat others how you want to be treated and if you know that sometimes you just want to talk, rant or even moan and complain chances are your friends might want to do that too! You never realise how far a simple “Hope you’re okay,x” message can go. Don’t always wait around for people to come to you and ask how everything is, remember you never know what battles people are fighting and a simple “How you doing?” can go a long way. Sometimes you feel like you might be complaining a little too much and you might be a little too annoying but if excuses like that prevent you from texting or ringing your friend, then are they really your friend?
They say you always accept the love you think you deserve and the second you have to contemplate whether someone wants to hear about your day or even if they’re going to be interested in talking to you is the minute you need to realise you don’t deserve them. You deserve so much more.
Well it is rather evident that I have not blogged in a very long time, I’m literally sitting in my pyjamas and my university hoody, looking like death whilst having Sunday blues. I must be very deluded to think that just because I am wearing my university hoody it will magically transport me back to the student life and I will not have to wake up for that 6am alarm clock tomorrow. Well, it’s worth a try!
Since I’ve started this working life I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited about weekends off and lie-in’s! It’s like Christmas has definitely come early even when a lie-in consists of getting up at 7.00am sometimes even 7.30am! I definitely am living the lavish lifestyle! I couldn’t wait to work and start having an income, I even think there was a moment where I was sick and tired of being a student and actually WANTED to work. That’s right ‘WANTED’ to work, how I suddenly regret those words. I miss being a student and it hasn’t even been 3 months. I left uni this year, I’ve graduated this year and I already want to go back!
Everything costs now! There is no free money from student finance! I had to earn those wages that come in to my account, I’m working for that holiday pay and hours off work. I feel like my dad’s words resonate through my mind on a daily basis “There’s no such thing as free in this world.” and he’s right! Everything costs! The prices of simple things like Freddo’s, how is that even possible?! Freddo really did have to grow up and get a mortgage it’s the only excuse for charging an extortionate 50p for something that probably cost 10p to make! Food is my forte, food is important, food is life and food is basically where my wages are going. It’s actually quite humorous how I spend money, I will not even look twice or care for spending £20 on food and extra wings yet when I see a jumper for £20 I feel like I really have to question my lifestyle choices and weigh out the pro’s and con’s of whether I should pay this extortionate amount for a jumper. It’ll go on sale eventually anyway so why pay so much now!
Now that I am growing up and becoming more responsible I feel like there is so much I want to accomplish. There is so much I want to achieve in the next 5 years. I plan a lot, to be honest I plan a little too much, sometimes it can be a bad thing but sometimes it’s actually a good thing! I always feel frustrated that I never have enough time to achieve my aspirations, I have everything written down but I never have the time. See this is where the Pep Talk comes in. I may tell myself that I don’t have time but that’s strictly true, all of this frustration is self-inflicted therefore it deserves no sympathy. I have the same 24 hours everybody else has and I know there are plenty of people out there accomplishing amazing things and reaching goals they thought they couldn’t. Motivation is difficult to acquire and that’s where faith and self-belief comes in.
Three years ago I thought I’d never get in to uni, yet here I am Class of 2015, graduated, working and on the road to accomplish something bigger and better. Everything requires willpower and attitude changes and although now I’m still sitting here partly frustrated feeling that I cannot get anything done. The difference is I’ve still got my plan, which means I’ve got some sort of guidance and now all I need is the positive attitude and the faith! What I’m trying to say is, everybody wants to do so much and there are so many excuses that prevent you from reaching your goal, don’t let anything get in the way. This is your life, your story. Make it count. Change that attitude because it will change your life! This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo! (That’s right, I Eminem’d it!)