I will always remember my Dad on the day of my wedding. He literally wiped my tears, leant down to me and smiled, “this is a new chapter of your life, a new beginning, how can you be sad about that?”. My Dad, the Bantasarus Rex, my bestie, transitioning me from his little girl in to a grown married woman. And that’s when shit got real.
Through these 7 weeks so much has come to light, I don’t think I ever truly understood what heartbreak was until I said goodbye to my parents. It is such an emotional situation and I don’t think I will ever be able to get over that. I went home last week for a couple of days and when I said goodbye before coming back to my new home, that’s when I realised it was real this time. You know them ones where you smile at your mum and laugh because if you start crying, then she’ll start crying then we all start crying and suddenly we’re living in the ocean of everyone’s salty tears and I can’t swim because I hate water so it’s a nightmare really, yep, story of my life folks. As much as you argue and fight, your parent’s will always be your besties, they’re always going to support you when you’re down, if you need something they are the first to offer, they provide A-Class banter and they’ve worked so hard so that you can have a roof over your head and food on your plate. Saying all of this, getting married I now have 2 sets of parents and if I’ve been blessed so much with one set already, having two gives me countless blessings for life (all of the cheese, cue the Bollywood singing and dancing with 42 outfit changes based in Switzerland).
After a beautiful 7 weeks, I have taken off my Chura (wedding bangles). Tradition says that you should wear them for 40 days and within those 40 days you can’t do any household work or cooking. Sounds like a dream, until you want a ham sandwich in the middle of the night and realise that you can’t make it, husbands are great aren’t they? These 40 days have been bliss, but it feels a million times better than I can now cook! I’m no Gordon Ramsay but it’s nice to have some freedom! I made my first dish of keema (mince) yesterday and that went down a treat, well no-ones vomited this morning so that’s a good sign. As much as I loved my Chura, I am a teeny tiny bit glad that I have my arms back. No more whacking my husband in the face through the night, no more accidentally epilating his chest hair with my bangles, no more having to wear loose armed clothes, no more catching threads in the gems of my bangles. It’s been a good run.
Even though it’s been 7 weeks since I was married, I still feel like it was yesterday. I think it half hit me when I registered at the doctors for an appointment and they called out my married surname. Even I helped in looking around for who it was, not the brightest tool in the box really. Honestly, it’s such a surreal feeling, changing your status to ‘Mrs’. I feel like ‘Mrs’ suddenly sounds sophisticated, older, mature like there are responsibilities involved. A ‘Mrs’ shan’t dutty wine to Sean Paul, a ‘Mrs’ shan’t get absolutely wasted on a Monday, a ‘Mrs’ shan’t ever have a messy room. The word itself adds 20 years on to your current age, no thanks life I like it down here in the pre-adult club where Jaeger shots are a daily occurrence.
Moving over to married life and the husband where the blessings begin to deteriorate (I joke), boys are disgusting. I recently learnt what a ‘Dutch oven’ is, just Google it and then think about having to go through it every day.
Rolling up your socks when putting them in the laundry basket (why?!), not making the bed, wet towels on the floor, these are just some of the reasons you may want to beat your husband but in all fairness I can’t really complain because he’s more tidy than me, and it’s normally him chasing me with hangers to put my clothes away. To be honest, marriage is an absolutely comical journey, with carpool karaoke, learning how to laugh quietly because I’m an absolute elephant in the house, the tickle game, dancing around the living room like complete idiots, yes even the Dutch oven. This is what marriage is about, the fun times, the pointless things you do, making a fool out of yourself, and the best thing? You start to realise that you’ve been together this long already but you’re still learning more and more about each other every day.
You always need to remember, even though you’re moving in to a new family and it may be daunting for you it’s completely the same for the other side. From my own experience, (even though it’s only 7 weeks) I think it’s important to be yourself when you move in. You’re always going to be a little nervous, a little shy but the quicker you make your presence known the easier it is for you to become comfortable and for everyone to become comfortable around you. The day of our marriage, I literally got to my husband’s house went upstairs got in to my joggers and t-shirt and that was it. It can be hard to take in that this is your new home but you have to make that first step, or you’ll always feel detached. In all honesty, I am so grateful for my in-laws (toot toot it’s the pumping your own trumpet horn). I get cuddles whenever I want them, I always have someone to talk to, there are numerous Dad Jokes at every hour of every day, I have a brother in law who can twerk faster than Rihanna, so you know it’s all of the shits and gigs really. So much effort goes in to our relationship as a family and that is what makes it work.
Maybe I’m in the honeymoon stage, maybe I’ve had too much coffee this morning but seriously, marriage is the best choice I made (or my other half made cause he was the one who proposed). Yes, it’s hard being away from my parents, and yes, I still ring my mother everyday at the age of 25 but if I never made this move, I never would have grown as a person. I wouldn’t have learnt how to make sabhji because I would’ve lived off waffles and spaghetti hoops. Change is good for the soul, and family is even better.
ALL ABOARD THE RELATIONSHIP! (HA bantz)