I remember when I was at work (physically), I used to meet my husband for lunch. It was cute back then, an Italian BMT to share, a bag of Sensations and a drink… to share, just simple but enough. And then lockdown was bestowed upon us, and now sharing a bag of crisps is just the tip of the iceberg.
We used to have a rule in our house. We weren’t allowed to mention the ‘W’ word before 9pm on a Sunday when the weekend hit. Yet now I find myself talking about it all the time. It’s not about having to work, (although it wouldn’t hurt to win the lottery once in a while), it’s more about trying to find that line between work life and home life. How do you stop them merging into one?
Before, it used to be easy to walk out of the office and leave everything at the door. But times have changed, and so has the way we work. Home is where your comfort is, where you zone off and where you get your ‘zen’.. and now.. it’s where you work.
For me, the lines have become blurred and I’m switching between roles of mother, wife and employee all in one day. Where I had time to focus on my work and give it my sole attention, I now have to juggle between entertaining a 1 year old and partially a 31 year old. Luckily, Cbeebies have supplied us with the goods, and Hey Duggee’s ‘stick song’ is forever a vibe in our house, for both of them.
Working from home and managing a little human is definitely hard work. Where I used to be able to freely spend my time doing what I wanted on my lunches, all my time now revolves around the little whirlwind in our house. There isn’t much of a break, and when ‘nursery day’ comes, I get a little sigh of relief, because I know. I know I won’t be drinking lukewarm tea today!
Every weekend I convince myself that a routine will be in order from Monday, we’ll try things a different way I’ll say, I’ll have ‘me’ time every week and we’ll make a meal plan for the baby. Then I strut around the house, 100% confident that I’ve solved this dilemma only to find myself in the same position next Sunday.
The truth is there’s going to be days, weeks, or what I can confirm to be months where things just don’t go to plan. Sometimes you’ll do a weekly shop and end up having 4 takeaways that week, and sometimes you’ll cook everyday and pretend you have a YouTube channel (don’t lie, we all do it).
Recently, rather than bringing myself down for the things I haven’t done, I’ve started to take glory in the things I’ve achieved over this ‘unprecedented’ time. I’ve painted 3 walls of my living room, and realised that 60 minute makeover was a lie. I’ve actually sat down and enjoyed a whole cup of tea without it going cold and I’ve organised half of my kitchen with ‘fancy’ storage (thank you Home Edit) to make it pretty.
I know these aren’t massive life impacting things, but they’re enough to make me feel good about myself in this situation. And that’s enough.
We’re all trying to cope with lockdown, and with the changes but sometimes we focus so hard on what hasn’t been done, we forget what we’ve achieved. Whether it’s a big thing or small thing, if you’ve done something that makes you feel that little bit better, then I’m proud of you. It’s another day you mustered the strength to understand that you can handle this.
-n
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